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JUST IN: Vance Staffer Placed in Administrative ‘Time-Out’ Due To Forgetting to say ‘Thank You’
Reports surfaced early this evening from the Eisenhower Executive Office Building claiming that an unnamed staffer was placed in a fifteen-minute time-out following morning coffee and play time. “He was just so rude!” states one D.C. journalist who had just agreed not to publish a hit piece on the vice president. “Ungrateful and frankly the…
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From Till and Pick to Hitting a Lick: The Rise of Urban Farming
All over the country, farmers are struggling to make ends meet in the same ways their fathers and grandfathers did before them. Where there used to be fertile land and opportunity to put money in their pocket, all that remains is topsoil that is only fit for a couple more harvests and worn blue jeans…
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Foot Fungus and Smegma Puff Pastry Tart: A New Spring Favorite
This tart is perfect for those days when you don’t want to go to the grocery store. With St. Paddy’s Day right around the corner, I thought I’d share one of my all-time favorites! If you’re craving a pastry with an ooey-gooey center but still want something savory to serve as a main course, this…
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This Just in: Politics are Astoundingly Gay
To Borrow a line from Luis J. Gomez, politics are fucking gay. You can argue with someone from the opposing side all day and all night and they still won’t change their fucking minds, and neither will you. once we’ve picked a side, we tend to stick to it, especially people who have nothing else…
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What Dis?
Hi there. Feeling good? Feeling fine? Production Pending will be a collection of media designed to inform but not infuriate. We hope we can bring you current events in the form of articles and media. Want to write for us? too bad. Sites like The Babylon Bee and The Onion do not take article submissions,…
